XMAS is depressing

So I'm watching a movie. Widescreen tv. Better pic qual than the movies, although it does lack the atmosphere. One thing that annoys me is the channels logo. Otherwise shit's all good.

That logo though, is defecates all over the realness of the movie, (besides the average acting and.... predictable? lines). Defined, it's called a watermarks.

Fuck off. Water makes structural damage, however aesthetically it's kept to just above minimum.

So something distractingly obvious would not reeeeeeeeally be one???

Merry Christmas!!!

Just so you know, I've not been lazy on the break. Dad and myself have been busy building/assembling. As much as this may seem a little backwards, I'm preeeeeeetty sure I'm getting a circular saw for chrissy, which would have made building the car bed a lot easier. Yes, it's possible to cut a straight line with a jigsaw. Provided you have a planer and sander lying around aswell!!!!!!!!!

anyway..... the question is,

Who's the stupid bastard who put Christmas so close to NYE?

You run out of money for Christmas then you spend your holidays broke. America beats us on having the holidays in June/July instead of now!!!!

Although it's Christmas and I have holidays... I've decided to have a break. Have a good one. Might start posting again in the new year. Or before then. Who knows?

Good personal news this week though, I had my long overdue work review, and although after 4.5 hours we're still not finished, (wage discussions shall come in the new year), my bonus Xmas cash was exchanged for a gift. A TE-TF Magna wagon.

Not my car of choice, and not being a company car that means fuel, rego, insurance etc is my problem... (should've opted the cash), it's still like a few grands worth of gift.

I know their broker would have given them sweet FA for it, but still, would have cost me more than the $500 it is going to to have a registered and RW vehicle.

Now my new motorcycle can be dedicated to weekends and warm days.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

Americanisms.

Sometimes that damn Yank spelling makes sense. The Z replacing the S in some words annoys me a little, (Z pronounced zee instead of zed like us to make the alphabet song sound better is ok though), but things like jail insteadof gaol, ax instead of axe.... That works.


The one that doesn't... X for Chris when stand alone it's either ex, or cross....

XMas, Xtina... I mean seriously....

Would you know to pronounce XX as Kriss-Kross???

Didn't think so.

Festive tip. Queue jumping.

A little late for some, but most will still have some XMas shopping left. Oh but the lines. A girl at Target has now twice broken the rules for me, as surpisingly enough, it hadn't been done before.

The second time, it was even done in 1 transaction for me!

So the tip is...

If you're Christmas shopping, (for $50 or more worth of items), and there is a line half way around the store, put it on layby and pick it up the same day. It helps if you're picking up a genuine layby at the same time, but seriously, for $2 or $3, it's worth not wasting a day waiting in line!!

Philisopficality!!! (Sic)

Just a quick one about the Philippines... (By the way if you're wondering the relevence of the kicks, they're the Philippines Air Force Ones, dedicated to Joze someone).....F is an f pronounced like an f. Ph is a sound pronounced like an F. The phact that Philipines is spelt with a ph is phine, as it's a name, maybe their language doesn't have an f so it was translated to english via the Roman alfabet.... oh but hang on......

Why is Philippines Philippines but the people phrom there are Filipino?

Does this happen to anyone else?

Just a quicken.... Now, the dentist told me that I brush my teeth too hard so it's possible I do the same to my toast. However, it happens only with one spread, never with the butter. I still ask though, as variety probably isn't the most accurate description of my dietary intake, particularly when it comes to breakfast.

When bread is made, the dough is mixed in a mixing bowl, and comes out pretty smooth. In this case it's divided into 800g pieces with minimum manipulation.

Then fed through a roller, which makes it come out sausage shaped, then put in a tin and from there it rises.

This rising gives it aeration, this is where the holes in your bread come from. These wholes look kinda random, or without directional grain...

So why the fuck is there only one direction I can spread my vegemite on my toast without ripping my fucking bread apart?

Does this happen to anyone else with vegemite or any other spreads?

Is it sharp everywhere?

I went to the Zoo this weekend. It was good. There were animals. :)

In all seriousness though it was the birthday for the daughter of a friend of mine, and although some of the animals did nada but snore their way through the day, the 4 male lions were taking it turns creeping real close to the fence and making eye contact, there was a gorilla who was possesive of his sack that he wore as a cape, and a BIG ASS silverback who made all the other ones run like biatches. Plus a little orange monkey was annoying a big one that was trying to sleep right near the window. That shit was pretty cool.

Anyway, there was a stage during the day where I had to pee. The trees were calling me, I was surrounded by nature but the Zoo provides facilities so I figured I'd actually use them, especially seeing as we were in the eatery bit anyway...

So in I wander, pee I do. Turn around and lo and behold... a sharps container. Now there used to be a more prevelant heroin problem here in Melbourne, or at least more noticable, so sharps containers are nothing new, particularly in public toilets. However, I figured, anyone desperate enough to shoot up heroin isn't going to spend money on the zoo... soooooooooooooooooo,

Are sharps containers in places such as the Zoo to cater for people with diabetes and the like?

In all honesty, it's a serious question.

Why for you like midgets?

Yes, there'll be some better questions coming soon. Time is money. I have neither. To be honest I have time but anyway.......

OK so the majority of people that visit my site get here via a google image search, as I don't really have anything consistent enough to be on a list for a regular search do I?

As you know, (or would if you'd read my previous ramblings, I'm a disbeliever of statistics, so I won't be looking up the %age of Islamically faithed people that use the internet, or the %age of Moosy's compared to others in a world population sense, but the fact that it rates as my second most popular page from people looking at burqas doesn't intrigue me.

What does though, is the fact that the definite majority of hits are people not just seeing on a search, but clicking on, the fat midget stripper.

WFT is the fascination??? Can't one of you people answer my question then?!

Passports only get you almost anywhere

Today, I saw several passports. The older, traditional style Australian ones, and the new Aussie ones that are just a bit smaller and have a thing you can scan to get you through customs a little quicker. Then I saw the green demon. A Bangladeshi passport. Open it up...

This passport is valid in all countries except Israel.

This is because most Bangla's are Muslim, although I thought church and state were seperate there.

So anyway... serious question,

What other countries passport doesn't allow you to go everywhere?

Reference is below for those who aren't aware. Anyways, I though that if Queen's birthday isn't her actual birthday then it must be a birthday of a monarch some time in history. It's not! It varies country to country and state to state so...

Why did they pick these dates?

The Queen's Birthday is celebrated as a public holiday in 53 Commonwealth countries, although it is also celebrated in Fiji, now a republic. The exact date of the celebration varies from country to country, and it does not usually mark the real birthday of the sovereign (the current monarch, Queen Elizabeth II, was born on 21 April 1926). Most Commonwealth Realms release a Birthday Honours List at this time.

last post this month

Hi... I've been busy and sick lately so haven't been going weekly. Not that you motherfuckers read this anyway. Mongrels. This one is more of an insight into how my mind processes things as opposed to an actual question. I know you'll never get this, as it kinda comes from an idiot statement made by someone else.

However, if you can give me an answer, it'll be interesting to see how you go there.

Answer me via email, if you'd prefer your choices not to be published.

So... You know someone with brown eyes. This feature being your relevant starting point, how do they end up with the nickname "Loco"?

To make it more difficult, no they're not crazy, nor Mexican. So riddle me this bitches!

Why are painters overalls never patterned? This is why.

Ended up answering my question. I know that painters overalls are white because painters use mostly, well, white paint. Almost makes sense doesn't it? Have you ever ever ever seen a painter that's not multicoloured though? Thought not. Also thought, even though tradesmen are allowed, even expected, to be filthy, wouldn't a colour or pattern, be ugly, but also give a neater cleaner appearance.

It'd make 'em look like fuckwits. I need a better question next week!

Thanger and co.

I know you can get some good quality coat-hangers that are actually capable of holding a coat but that's beside the point. I was in my wardrobe the other day, look at all my hanging clothes, (which for me, the drawerless man), is basically everything except jocks 'n' socks. So as I asked this question, I thought "Hang on, stop! Other people use drawers, therefore only hanging coats", hence the name... But Alas no!

The vast majority of things on coathangers for a male, would be shirts! For a lass, dresses. So you prepare yourself. You think I'm going to ask, "Well why are they called coathangers?", I was going to, I woulda called them shirt-rods. Or dress-holder-upper-me-bobs. No no no no. The question, my not so avid reader who came here off a google image link by accident, (Yes I'm watching you I have everything about you motherfuckers), is is is is is... In the old days, men wore shirts a lot more than now. Coats were I assume, optional, (so left hanging), yet your vast majority of clothes would have been shirts and dress pants.

So how did the old motherfuuckers store 'em?

Obviously not on hangers!

Blue On Black

No pictures. No shit. This question is for me. The song Blue On Black by the Kenny Wayne Shepherd Band is sung by who. The internet answers Kenny Wayne. This is wrong. Kenny does the lead guitar and backing vocals on chorus. Anyone know the name of the actual singer??

extraordinary

English is a language with an extraordinary amount of silly things, and oxymoronic words and phrases.

So... As we define extraordinary, we get

• beyond what is ordinary or usual; highly unusual or exceptional or remarkable;
• far more than usual or expected;

As you can see, it's made of two words, extra and ordinary.

So *wikka wikka break it down now*

Extra:

• excess: more than is needed, desired, or required;
  
• further or added;
• unusually or exceptionally;
  
• something additional of the same kind;
  

Then we come to Ordinary:

• not exceptional in any way especially in quality or ability or size or degree;
  
• average: lacking special distinction, rank, or status; commonly encountered;
  

So..... extraordinary means something unsual.... but if you used it as two words, it would mean an excess amount of ordinary things, or something so ordinary it's not even funny, but it doesn't.

In context, I find this an extraordinary lack of thought to whoever the dimwit was the inventionamised this stupid fucking word. Americans, save us with your Americanisms.... May the ax break you out of jail while those who love their old school Enklish (sic) catch some Zeeeeeeeeeee's.

The apes climbed down from the trees

Grew tall and they started talking. If you believe in science, man evolved from apes, and with some exceptions, had less body hair, due to clothing. If you're religious, God made man, who lived relatively naked in the garden of Eden, which we can safely assume was warm enough to be naked or close to.

Our body temperature is controlled through many biological functions. Common knowledge is one of the main areas heat escapes the body is through the head. As man has evolved, this is our thickest coat of "fur".

However, generally speaking, our hair is also thicker in certain places... Underarms, legs, and the pubic region, (including your bum crack).

If you have a look at your kneecaps, the hairs are shorter from rubbing against your pants.

Strangely enough though, the places where human body hair is denser, are also places that frequently rub against things. So that confuses me for a start.

Looking at my dogs though, they're furry, excep the hair is thinner, on their inner legs, nose, arsehole, and pubic region. Obviously some of it is for hygene reasons but still leaves me confused.

Why are the most frequently clothed and friction affected hairy areas of the human body unaffected by this shit?

By the way, people were invented before toilet paper, so why's it hairy there. Not the most hygenic of God's inventions!

Another one of THESE questions.

Please only read the entirity of this post if you're actually a fan of the site or intend to give feedback; positively, negatively, constructively or otherwise. If not, move on, or use the nav bar on the right to go to another post. If your interest level on feedback is >0, but time or interest is <0.

(Just so you know, idunnoweekly will soon include some *ahem* quote-unquote miscommunications: there's a guy of Bangladeshi descent at work who is the unintentionally funniest bastard in the history of this planet. There are several phrases and accidentally invented words from him, such as "Sorry for the misconvenience" that will make appearances some time in the near future).

This blog started because I asked 1 or 2 questions of a guy at work. Eric Vo. He is a nerd in terms of computer literacy and age vs. life output. Ignoring that, he is a fantastic guy who has a lot in common with my good self, (closet nerd), however cultural and language differences make various forms of communicae, (AFAIK self invented word for multiple styles of communication), amusing. Both thoughts and speech exit our minds or mouths, and enter the others head or ears, differently than intended or expected.

When I struggled to get site hits, I questioned why. Was told simply, "Logo, not enough colour". Just so you know, I fare better with the black and white logo and fuck all colour on the page than I do with something I've phucd with in Photoshop (CS3, yes bitches, who has a keygen for everything?!).

A friend of mine suggested it was the constant posting on this one. Supposed to be weekly, but nothing for a fortnight, then 5 in a row. The other blog was a once in a while, "Wow!" or "What the fuck?". Due to time and personal commitment, I have eased up w/ the IDK blogs.

The other, now deleted blog, was random, amusing and apparently well written. I have noticed that I ramble more in text than I do in speech. I'm quite aware I ramble in speech. However, I don't mumble when I type, and my written grammatical prowess far outweighs the intelligence, articulation, and word finding skilll I present upon constructing a verbal sentence.

The application I use to count visitors tells me I get more unique vistors than return ones, and the page loads, (refreshing or pressing F5 while you're already here), tells me that there's not many returning visitors. This leaves me with 2 options.

1. Someone at blogger.com loves this shit and puts it in blogs of note.
2. You lot keep coming back for God knows what reason, but never leave me feedback.

I've set my IP to static so my counter doesn't include my views, yet something is still going awry.

Ignoring this 1000 word essay, what am I doing wrong?

I'm attracting new visitors, and statistically speaking, I've far exceeded the intended achievements I had for this blog. Please either answer my questions or tell me why you won't.

Plates. Form vs Function.

The first wave of feminist revolution happened in the UK and US in the 19th and early 20th century. It focused on contractual and property rights for women, then the right to vote, (suffrage). The second wave was in the 60s and 70s and according to feminists, was to end discrimination and to highlight inequalities in politics. They should have figured that stuff out with the first lot of suffrage, so basically the second wave was o hippies could grow hairy legs and armpits. Ferals. Third-wave feminism began in the early 1990s, arising as a response to perceived failures of the second wave and also as a response to the backlash against initiatives and movements created by the second wave. Third-wave feminism seeks to challenge or avoid what it deems the second wave's essentialist definitions of femininity, which (according to them) over-emphasize the experiences of upper middle-class white women.

So after all this rot, what happens?

Some inventors stop "inventing". They ignore the Aussie phrase of "If it ain't broke, don't fix it", and start redesigning things for women, emphasising form over function. Admittedly, our world is now much prettier thanks to pubic free or pubic minimalist women, and good home decoratives, (I mean actual decorations, not the women themselves *ahem* the mrs doesn't read this so I coulda got away with that one too).

Now I have no idea what plates looked like before the feminist revolutions, but now most of them are circle. Except one in my cupboard. It's square.

On the dishrack, it stands up without ever rolling to one side. In the cupboard, it sits in the corner with no gaps, no wasted space. The same on the table, and it also has more surface area, allowing me to fit more on my plate to stuff my face with. Definitely a funcional winner in all aspects except possibly the aesthetic art of meal presentation, but arguably that's only because we're used to seeing things on round plates.

So, plates are an everyday, commonly used item, yet for some reason, in the western world, the form over function concept wins. Historically, women are in the kitchen more than men. So did circle plates come about after the first wave of feminism failed to get women out of the kitchen, or, with form over function being a club for women (and gay men and metrosexuals),

Do circle plates actually signify the early stages of the feminist revolution?

I reckon they do coz square plates are better in every way they just look a bit funny.

Escalators

Ah finally my internet month is over and it's not going at 64kbs anymore!!!

Well anyways, I've been catching the train to work nearly every morning to Flinders St Station, Melbournes central transport hub. Since August, during peak hours, they switch all the escalators to the direction in which most passengers are exiting or entering the platform.

As with any large city, people always seem to be in a hurry. They push to get through, their urgency to exit the platform ridiculous. Courtesy is left at home, seems every single person in this city is a surgeon, with a dying patient lying on the operating table, waiting for them. So you see people finally getting to the escalators, they step on, the huff and they puff to get to the right hand side and almost jog up the already moving stairs.

They hold the handrail like if they let go they'll die. Then
you get there, to the top of the escalators. All these people seemingly in such a rush have the same thing happen to them. As the stairs flatten out, the speed must have changed. The danger must have increased! They all stop walking.

So as I get to the top I continue walking at the same pace that I was before, and I wonder...

The same people are on the same train every morning, always in a rush. Then they slow down for that 2 seconds as the escalators flatten out.

Why the fuck don't they catch an earlier train, or use their hand-eye coordination to allow themselves to keep the fucking pace up at the top of the escalators when they've pushed everyone out of the way to get there!!!

They're quite capable of walking on the flat escalator thingies at the airports, it's no different you fucking spastics.

On hold

It's my Dad's birthday this weekend, (and Fathers Day) so I'll be back next week. I also got subpoenaed as a court witness 3 times in the one day aswell so been kinda busy. Don't stress though I shall return. In the meantime don't hesitate to throw more questions my way via subkulcha@hotmail.com

Ingredient taste when blended.

On the radio the other day, there was a competition to guess what ingredients were in a drink. Not a regular drink. Just a "smoothy" of 2 random things. Apparently, the taste was rather disgusting. Coke & eggs. Not much yum-ness there. Having said that though, you'd eat eggs with say, sausages and bacon. Steak with chips and salad. Some people, like me, eat the foods on their plates one at a time. Others though, including me when I have an open souvlaki, put a variety of ingredients on the fork at one time to give you a more interesting flavour.

Why is it though, that the thought of a blended souvlaki doesn't sound appealing? Somehow I don't think it would taste the same either.

So

is texture somehow flavour?

Head over heels.

So there's the saying, head over heels. At times, an exclamative description of emotion, eg: "She was head over heels in love!" Sometimes, commentary on your lack of balance, eg: "He fell head over heels down the stairs".

Have you noticed, however, the homosapiens standing position?

Please note that in a normal, natural, standing position, the head, (A), is situated over the heels, (B). Head. Over heels. So the expression, taken literally. effectively describes the normal position for a standing or sitting human being.

So who's the idiot that thought that would emphasise a point?

Moron. Also, who's the ingenius Aussie who fixed the phrase with the expression, "Ass over tit"? See that actually makes sense. Unless the person with tits is puckering up while being fucked from behind. More on that later?!

Viewers

Why hi there.

I know I'm due to ask another question soon, and I will... just waiting for the weekend to finish!

Anyhoo...

Had a really good day the other day, (Thursday), with the number of hits I got. 3 times as many as normal. According to my stat counter they're mostly unique visitors, but I don't think it has a tracking cookie so it's probably the same people returning each day.

However, people, there is one thing that I was hoping to get out of idunnoweekly, and that is interactivity.

Please answer some questions, or direct any feedback, + or -, to subkulcha@hotmail.com

Thanks o/

Blend 43

I was eating my lunch at work today and I'd finished my newspaper on the train this morning and had nothing in the way of visual entertainment. So, I grabbed all the stuff sitting on the kitchen table and spun it around to read everythings ingredients and nutritional information. Exciting life I lead this one. Jealous? You must be.

Then I came across Nescafé blend 43. The most commonest of common instant coffees this fair city has to offer.

Ingredients? Coffee beans. Nothing else. Not one fucking thing.

So with one ingredient, how do they make so much of it that tastes exactly the same? More importantly though, with one sole ingredient...

How did they fuck up the first 42 blends?

Why sweat smells?

There's good bacteria. There's bad bacteria. The shit from sweat must be bad, coz BO and sweaty feet smell fair atrocious, and we wash it off. Except for some people on public transport who don't seem to mind their own stench.

Excercise is good for you. Keeps you fit. Makes your body look better.

Sweat excretes pheremones. Attracts the opposite sex.

So, long story short..... Excercise is good for you and a sweaty man:
BITCHES LOVE THAT SHIT!!!

So why does sweat make a bad smell??

Polar? Fleece.

FHM, (Australian mens magazine), this month featured an article, "40 fashion mistakes you're making right now". One of them was unless you are hiking/bushwalking, DO NOT WEAR POLAR FLEECE TOPS. I do have a few. I wear them when landscaping, walking the dog, or doing anything where I think I might get dirty, and don't give a rats arse if I ruin the polar fleece top.


Apparently, advantages of fleece are that it is:
Soft and comfortable to wear.
Very warm and provides warmth without weighing a lot.

I don't find mine very comfortable with that stupid fucking 3 foot neck zip and the tightarse wrists.

Definitions of polar on the web:
arctic: extremely cold; "an arctic climate"; "a frigid day"; "gelid waters of the North Atlantic"; "glacial winds"; "icy hands"; "polar weather"

Mine, however, I don't find particularly warm. My fluffy pimp jacket is warm.

If they ain't that fuckin' warm, why are they called polar fleece?

Sports player tax deductions!

If I need to buy myself something for work using my own money, for instance work boots or safety vests, the amount I spend is tax deductable. Now, if you look at a professional sports-person, in terms of uniforms, they won't be deducting anything clothing related as their sponsors will provide it free of charge.

If you happen to be an AFL player, you can incur fines by the tribunal, your club, or the league itself for what you do and say both on and off the field.

Alistair Clarkson, Hawthorn coach, incurred a fine for derogatory statements made after the match against umpires. (I think it was him anyway I cbf researching it.) He was fined $5000 for his statement. Although compared to his salary it's not very much, that money came out of his pocket, and therefore his income, and went in to the coffers of what's effectively a private business.

This penalty applied for what he said, however, if I said it on television, I wouldn't fined, because I don't work for a company controlled by that private sector, (the AFL).

So technically, it's a non-government penalty applied to his back-pocket, for comments he made about his work, while at work, and they were said specifically in defense of his work and colleagues.

I reckon that's a work expense, but I dunno...

Is that shit tax deductable?

Bullshit if it's not.

Wireless. Old technology. Crap usage.

Phones. Been around a long time. Basically the first idea of it was in 1844, (Innocenzo Manzetti). Invented around 1860, (Antonio Meucci). The first successful bi-directional transmission of clear speech by Alexander Graham Belll and Thomas A. Watson was made on 10 March 1876, when Bell spoke into his device, “Mr. Watson, come here, I want to see you.” and Watson answered.

Radios. Ahhhh. Wireless transmission of information. n 1893, Nikola Tesla, in America, first demonstrated the feasibility of wireless communications.

Television. Once again. Wireless transmission of information. Commercially available since the late 1930s, the television set has become a common communications receiver in homes, businesses and institutions, particularly as a source of entertainment and news.

My point? Well, the internet was first used in the 1950s but has been commmonly available to the public for about 15 years. In technology terms that's a long time. Mobile (cellular) phones, are also a fairly recent thing available to the public, as are video calls made from them.

Anyway... radios were used a long time ago to transmit information. Wirelessly. With wires though, all we got was sound, (telephone). Again, without wires, we got moving image and sound in the form of the television.

So.... if we actually got more information from a wireless network than we did with wires, so why was the internet even invented to run off phone lines, which transmitted a limited amount of information?

More importantly though, if all this wireless technology is so old, and the internet is fairly old in this technologically advanced age of ours,

WHY ARE WIRELESS INTERNET CONNECTIONS SO CRAP?

How did buddha become fat buddha?

Question asked by "Wranderer". (Thankyou sir)

Buddha was a slim strong looking and sounding individual in the Indian stories. Now how come the Asian version of Buddha is very large and fat and ungraceful but jolly. How did this happen? It's very unlogical, Buddha did alot of walking all around India and begged for food which meant that he never recieved a huge amount or gorged himself or asked for more than his fill. I know Buddhism isn't as popular in India as it once was but how did he transform into this huge jolly man in it's transition to other parts of Asia. For a character which represents balance the east asian version looks nothing like it.

So, please tell me how did Buddha become so fat???

Why is it called closing your eyes?

Your eyes are never open, so can never be closed. Ok, picky, so technically your eyelids close and it's a lazy abbreviation?! Nup. Put your finger on an eyelid and “close them”. Bottom one kinda goes towards your nose and the top one lowers.

SO WHY IS IT CALLED CLOSING THEM?

I'm back - and asking about statistics

Ok. I fiiiiiiiiinally have the internet back. However, I'm tired and the gf is being sooky so I'm just posting quickly and this time I can give you a time frame. 3 days. Things will be back to weekly. So anyways!

Statistics are stupid.

Probably my longest and most passionate rant!!!

Umpteenth percent of people know that. For some reason, statistics have enough place in society to warrant the worlds best job, that of the “statistician”. The media, most often newspapers, often use statistics to emphasise their point, cause uproar, or to make their point using what I feel is effectively deceipt.

For instance, you might get the Herald Sun or The Age, (more likely the HS, I read it but fuck me it's turning in to a gigantic gossip column), with a headline Our Drug Fueled Children, supported by statistics saying that 60% of kids between 14-17 have tried marijuana and 25% have tried other illicit drugs.

So, the reason I'd find this particular example flawed:

No matter how much you guarantee it, kids will never be mature enough to believe or trust in the anonimity of surveys, so you will get kids that falsely answer yes due to peer pressure thinking other kjids will find out and think that they're cooler. Then you'll have the kids that refuse to trust that the results will not be released to their teachers or parents, and falsely answer no.

Then you have other variables, such as the type of school, government, low level private, or “elite” level private. The area the survey is conducted in can and will, throw the statistics to an unreasonably flawed level.

In summary, I'm doing a survey on the percentage of people that live in Government housing. If I ask 100 people on the Government estate, I'd get a really high percentage, in an affluent suburb, really low.

So to be fair you ask in a middle class suburb. BANG!!! Your statistics are still flawed. For example, in Melbourne, Flemington is an expensive inner city Suburb. My statistics will be much higher there than a cheaper suburb because Flemington and the surrounding suburbs have several hi-rise, high density public housing estates.

Doesn't matter though, because I've been fair in gathering my statistics, and I can use a headline saying, 70% of Melbourne residents live in public housing.

HOW THE FUCK CAN STATISTICS EVER BE JUSTIFIED ENOUGH FOR STATISTICIANS TO ACTUALLY BE EMPLOYED?!

soon soon

will have the internet in a week or so, and blogging will be back to normal. i'll post pictures of my new house etc on my other blog. for now just check out the old comments.

thanks guys

Have you not noticed?

Well, here in Melbourne, petrol is currently around AU$1.70 per litre, (or $6.40 a gallon for you imperial fuckers). When I got my licence 5 years ago, it was around the $0.70 mark.

Now, petrol is made (basically) like this -

A surveyor will find somewhere with crude oil.
Then, for instance in the sea, an oil rig is built.
The oil is then drilled in to, a pipeline is built, and it is pumped through to the mainland oil refinery, which was also built.
It is then refined into diesel, gasoline, and the shit they make plastic out of.

And it's $1.70 a litre.

Do you know what else costs $1.70??

600ml of water from a fucking spring!!!!!!!!!

How the fuck do they get away with that shit?

Blogging on hold

Moving house so will continue again in about a week or so. Apologies.

Conspirital novels - Fact or Fiction?

Just a quick one I guess.

So anyways...

There are many books to do with Roswell, 9/11, assasanations and Kurt Cobains death etc etc etc etc. They contain fact, as do most fiction books, but seeing as they're based on a consipiracy theory, to some they definitely contain fiction aswell. So assuming you are a disinterested librarian in an unbiased library, in which section do you put these books????

Fiction or Non-fiction mein fruends?

The Radio ad-free hour

By the way, I did intend to have the last question come out this month, but time difference between me and the host made it come out in May, so the weekly thing kinda died in the arse again, and I know this one is more of a rant than a question, but still

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So on the radio on Friday, the station advertised from about 11am to 12am a thousand million times, "We have an ad free 50 coming up soon!!!". So you'd think it would be non stop music by the time it gets there wouldn't you.

"Ad free 50 starts now!", the station says. So you're expecting what, 150 minutes of non stop music? Well I was. Every fucking 2 songs though, "It's our ad free 50, this is the best station ever!!!" etc etc etc etc etc. There's no paid commercials, but it definitely fucking is not ad free!!!!!!!!!

Don't they realise that this is purpose-defeating, more annoying than regular commercials that may be advertising a product that interests you, and enough to make listeners, such as myself, change the fucking station to something like Triple J which has no ads and weird music, but heaps less fucking talking?!

/rant

What's a better solution when we run out of oil?

So, my friends, we have a world oil crisis. They reckon that one day we'll run out of oil. Of course we will. So anyways, what's the answer?? ELECTRIC CARS!!!!!! Brilliant. They use a whole heap of batteries. Made from plastic. Electric cars don't run so good so they make them lighter. Using plastic. Plastic is made from petro-chemicals. Petro-chemicals is made from oil. The cars then need to be recharged. In Australia, the power stations use mostly coal, and oil.

Brilliant fucking solution. Morons.

Please someone, anyone, tell me...

What's a better solution than stupid fucking electric cars?

Update (again)

"Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together."
Vincent Van Gogh

So my blogs have been impulsive. Also, they've been a series of small thoughts bought together. So I'm a little confused here. Anyway, it has happened. Finally i dunno weekly has overtaken the random personal blog of mine. Which is good. Except for one thing. I'm still getting bugger all feed back so I will run out of questions at some stage. Now that I've slowed it down to weekly like intended, can you visitors go through a few of the older questions and answer them. That is the point of this thing anyways.

So thankyou, and fuck you. You get 2 thank yous when you answer my questions!!!

So cheers to Lee, Eric and Joel.

i dunno weekly update

It's happening again. Daily views are going up, responses and constructive critisism aren't. I'm obviously doing something wrong. The only feedback I've had re the site was to make the logo colourful and more exciting. C'mon guys... I'm (safely I think), assuming I'm getting repeat visitors, not new ones who never return. If I'm wrong, criticisms can be posted as a comment, or emailed to subkulcha@hotmail.com



Thanks for fueling my disappointment.

flat battery thing

So I'm well aware that my phone has a low battery, but figure it should be enough to last the day. Which it is. Until I get bored and play some games on it. So I'm down to one bar... and the phone's on standby, (dark screen etc to save battery)... But then, about 15 fucking times it beeps, and says low battery, which takes it off standby, then runs the screensaver for a couple of minutes, which uses the battery more than it would if it just assumed I was aware of my current battery situation!

So who's brilliant idea was that?!

Moron.

Are midgets proportional?

I could look this up but I'd rather be told so I don't have to see it and/or look at midget porn. Do they have regular size doodles and balls or are they little too??

Self-conscious awkwardness

You're about to embark on a journey to impress. It may be a girl/boy, potential boss, mother-in-law or any of those people that have a tendency to make you nervous. So you want things to go smoothly and you pep yourself up. Some people, (maybe not real people but at least the ones in movies), even talk to themselves in the mirror followed by a deep exhale and a shoulder shake!!!

So you enter the room with what you think is better posture, but little do you realise you look like you have a pole up your arse. Then you bang your leg on the table, and in your awkward recovery you knock a vase of the stand in the hallway.

Well done fuckwit.

In day to day life you do what you do without thinking about it. However, there are plenty of things done daily, like cooking for instance, that require a certain amount of concentration. Yeah you can stuff it up, but usually you don't if you focus on what you're doing. So...

Why is being smooth something that gets harder the more you concentrate on it?

I know the shit doesn't just happen to me, because there are sites dedicated to it!

dsa

The top ladder step.

I've noticed it on nearly every modern ladder I've seen. In fact, I bought one the other day, (picture will come later if I feel it's relevant and I can be bothered).

So anyways, it's not particularly high, maybe 1.6m. Has steps, (as most ladders do), all the way up it. ALL THE WAY UP IT. In fact it's as if the ladder is built entirely from steps!!!

"AAAAAAAhhhh, how bizaare!", I assume you probably won't think. Yes I'm stating the obvious. I'm uneducated this is how I demonstrate the point I'm (trying to) make more often than not.

So this ladder, with stairs all the way up, has a sticker on it. Same as all the other ladders that were available for sale. They all read, "Do not use top step", or "Do not step past this stair".

Safety and liability gone stupid thanks to civil libertarians, (I hate them whinging fuckers). So if the ladder companies feel the need to warn against doing this,

Why the fuck don't they make them with 2 less steps?

It wouldn't exactly be the most difficult piece of engineering to make a fucking ladder that has the stairs stop at the safest point, with the rest of the ladder braced in such a way that it is obviously not a step, that you may use after ignoring the warning, and subsequently break your neck.

Fuckwits.

Isn't this a conflict of interest?

Unfortunately this one is more of a social commentary than a question. Well it's a question, just kinda rhetorical.

Unless you've been hiding under a rock this week you would know that Paris Hilton got banned from a hotel this week. The Hyatt hotel in Moscow. $16,000 a night. Now, it's fairly obvious her parents never disallowed her to do many things but...

A Hilton... in a Hyatt hotel???

Good advertising for the Hyatt, but there's a fuckin' HILTON IN MOSCOW!!!

Why would she give $16,000 to a competitor?

It's obviously not going to push them up and send the family company broke but still. Bit weird.

The Simpson-van-dong-wins

Homer Simpson? or is it...

HOMER NGUYEN

The theory behind this, some may say, preposterous statement? You know it bitches. A question. I shall lead you in to it. I can't be bothered typing it all in a "If some Wicks are Slicks, and some Slicks are Snicks, then some Wicks are definitely Snicks." sense, plus I don't know how to spell in this language so I'll just put random facts and you can figure it out.

In Vietnamese, if you're talking about your mother (who is pissing you off), you might say, "D'oh mah" or "Fuck Mum". Someone elses, "D'oh mah mai", "Fuck your mother". To have a not so subtle crack at someone with nice cans, you may say, "D'oh vu bu mah", which simply means, "Fuck your big tits".

This could be used in both a sleazy request form, or from female to female saying that her brain is better than the other bitches big noogs. Anyways, the common word in all of those phrases just so happens to be "D'oh", or if you're Viet, "Fuck".

So The Simpsons is probably a lot funnier to Viets who hear Homer saying fuck a lot. Like a lot. To be truthful, it actually gives me more respect for homer. He is bilingual. Not suffering tourettes.

So finally the question(s)...

Is The Simpsons a hell of a lot funnier to Vietnamese people, and did the producers somehow have this in mind when writing it?

Seems unlikely, however it is kind of a smart subtle idea (thanks!). Remember the Simpsons came out a looooooong time before things such as the Family Guy, and swearing on TV, especially American TV, was a lot more iffy.

Your thoughts...

Random fact.

Since it's inception, I've been struggling with advertising/marketing for idunnoweekly. I can only advertise it on myspace and through word of mouth. I did at one stage think it was a brilliant idea.

My other blog, however, has been much more succesful numbers wise with the amount of hits it's had, and this is with little to no promotion. Weird.

This month, I've had a mere 47 hits, (and yes I have blocked my IP from the stat counter). For some reason I manage that weekly, if not daily for the other blog. However, I've had more hits while I haven't been blogging as opposed to when I'm going sick. Anyways...

These questions, (or some of them), have been looked at approximately 300 times and have had only 2 answers. Not particularly happy.

GP Practice

In most countries, a Doctor (General Practitioner to be specific), goes to tertiary education for 7 years or thereabouts. You would assume that they'd be fairly good at what they do. What is slightly unnerving though, is that they end up a practitioner, defined as:

someone who practices a learned profession

If it's a learned profession can't you just do it? Say for instance, if I play a video game, to practice, I would not be scoring points, or achieving set goals. I would be experimenting on different techniques to learn what happens as an outcome.

After practice(1), I put in to practice(2), the things I have learnt while practicing.

So, for some fucked up reason beknown only to those who invented Enklish (sic)... to practice is to learn how to perfect something, yet you can still practice a learned profession.

Why is the word practice an oxymoron by it's own definition?

How do you squirt?

I'm a bloke. I "squirt". So this question is from a female "viewer/reader" by the name of "HotBox".
Seriously. I know her real name but I promise anonymity on i dunno weekly so it stays that way.

So to the question...

You can never say all, but most blokes cum by squirting shit (cum) out the end of their dick. So do most girls. However, most girls get the good feeling after a licking, thinkin' they're clean, until the bloke with the super-tongue pops up with a grin and a white chin.

Generally speaking, you females leak/drip whatever. Watching porno that I searched for after a well known catch phrase between myself and some mates... we wondered what a squirter was?

They fuckin' squirt like a bloke who's had 3 days off wanking and is tryin' to get a sock pregnant.

Rumour has it, asian women have an extra custle (muscle in the cunt), which allows them to shoot ping pong balls. Maybe all girls can, it's just vegetables are a bit heavier and that seems to be the norm at age 16, the expirimental years.

Enough rambling, here's the question.

Some chicks squirt, some don't. Can it be learned?

If you don't squirt now, can you blast his face if you know the technique to do so?

It's the best thing since sliced bread.

Question courtesy of Neville Davitt. The rambling around the blog courtesy of my good self.

From Wikipedia:
Sliced bread is a loaf of bread which has been pre-sliced and packaged for convenience.

The phrase "the greatest thing since sliced bread" (and variations thereof) is a commonly used hyperbolic means of praising an invention or development. Sliced bread appears to be something of an arbitrary selection as the benchmark against which later inventions should be judged. It has been said that "the phrase is the ultimate depiction of innovative achievement and American know-how",^[7] although it is commonly used in the United Kingdom as well.

The popular use of the phrase derives from the fact that Wonder Bread, the first mass-marketer of sliced bread as a product, launched a 1930s ad campaign touting the innovation.

So....

What was the best thing before sliced bread?